The End
It's a gorgeous Memorial Day evening. Birds chirping...a slight breeze...and the evening sun sneaking closer to the western horizon and better yet, NOT beating down on my patio where I sit typing this. My hundred year old locust tree in in full bloom and the air is coated with sweetness. I'm sipping my first Rolling Rock and wondering just what to say.
My dear boys and girls, after spending oh, ten minutes on the subject, I've decided to bring Diary of a Madman to a halt. Not a screeching halt mind you. A screeching halt implies that there was first speed and momentum and let's be real...this blog has lost all speed over the the last year or so. Nary an interesting post. My political commentary has been reduced to pictures and jagged one-liners. And personal stories? Just don't care to share some of the decisions I've made.
Definitely not what I ever intended.
I looked back at the early writing on this site. Quite a few chapters of my life have been captured for posterity on the interwebz. I read my past posts and smile: I was definitely very up front and honest about myself. A lot of that openness has fled, and I think the big reason is that I just haven't been that happy lately. I point the finger of blame at no one other than myself. Mind you I am not caught in some deep dark cave of depression. No...I'm just not...inspired. Yes. That's the word. Inspired.
My kids are now four years older since this blog was started. I've been through no less than four girlfriends and one "never got a second date" chica. My company's been taken over by the over-bearing bank from hell. I quit smoking and joined a gym (thank you, S.). I've had a girl move in and move right out (thanks again, S.). I survived the ugliest stock market ever experienced in my lifetime. Hell! I even shaved my head for the hell of it.
There's a lot I want to do, but blogging isn't one of them. So for you readers who have this blog linked to a feed, thanks for reading. If for some reason you stumble on this blog at random...look around and have fun. Leave a comment if you want...I'll respond back. But this chapter of *me* is done. I know that one day I'll be at it again...just gotta find that inspiration. In the meantime, you can track me on Facebook.
Farewell, dear reader. I leave you with this quote:
"Always after a defeat and a respite, the Shadow takes another shape and grows again."
"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
- The Lord of the Rings
Gandalf and Frodo Baggins, Chapter 'The Shadow of the Past'.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Of Unicorns, Lesbians, House and...
I'm not exactly sure what to think about this. At first blush, you might think that some psychotic right wing fanatic did this, but my money's on some dumbass liberal arts college art student (not my daughter).
Anyway...what the fuck does it mean????
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Welcome Chief Source Readers!
My Lame Pics
Okay...this one isn't THAT lame, and anyone who says that it is is itching for a fight. The subject is my daughter who is standing in front of some giant balls. Christmas balls...as in ornaments. Pic taken about 10-minutes after we saw Spring Awakening. Which by the way, was a most kick-ass show.
Coke makes me nostalgic for some reason. Must be billions of dollars of advertising. I like how the snowflakes reflect in this, and Santa looks like he could be takin' a swig off a fifth of Jim Beam.
Coke makes me nostalgic for some reason. Must be billions of dollars of advertising. I like how the snowflakes reflect in this, and Santa looks like he could be takin' a swig off a fifth of Jim Beam.
This pic was probably taken around 1:00AM. Spring Awakening long done. Shopping long done. And the kids back at the hotel watching a movie and sending text messages to their friends (OMG! Wer n NYC!!!). Needless to say, I was probably on beer number 65. I bar-hopped and picture took for at least a few hours, all while managing to squeeze in a few text messages to Shawn...declaring my love for her, no less.
Don't ask me why, but I love this picture. I think a real photographer would have captured a great moment in time. This was a bakery window at about 2:30AM. I had just finished up drinking with a few Marines home on leave for Christmas from Iraq and needless to say, we drank like Marines. I was on my way back to the hotel when I happened upon a bakery. The window speaks for itself. It says, "Yummy." The story is in the guys in the background. Four days before Christmas, in NYC, baking pastries and making an honest living. I love this pic.
I'm interested in hearing professional critics on someone who has no experience whatsoever taking pictures. What would you have done different if all you had was a point and shoot?
Friday, December 26, 2008
Office Love Stories
What do you do when you know a girl for 2 1/2 years because you work with her, you go on your first date after you sing at a show less than a month ago and then fall in love?
You do what any normal person would do. You ask her to move in with you.
I did. We are.
Carry on.
What do you do when you know a girl for 2 1/2 years because you work with her, you go on your first date after you sing at a show less than a month ago and then fall in love?
You do what any normal person would do. You ask her to move in with you.
I did. We are.
Carry on.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Peter's Escape
Peter: Goodbye, Hook.
Hook: *astonished* WHAT? Where do you think you're going, dear boy? And more importantly, how do you think you'll get there?
Peter: How else would I leave this retched ship of yours, Hook? I will fly.
Hook: You can't fly anymore, Peter. *sneering, whispering in Peter's ear* You have no happy thoughts. You have no Wendy.
Peter: But I do have happy thoughts, Hook. Happy thoughts come from within...I've learned that. Or maybe I knew it all along and just couldn't see it while I was trapped here with you.
Hook: You can't leave me, Peter.
Peter: But I am leaving, Hook. It's dark here...it's cold. I'll never find a Wendy on your ship, Hook. But I know that somewhere out there...somewhere beyong the horizon...there's a Wendy for me. There's a world beyond this ship.
*Peter begins to float above the ship...the moon casting his shadow on the ship's deck*
Peter: Goodbye, Hook!
*Peter flies off into the dark, starry night...the air thick with salt and new beginnings*
Hook: *Almost inaudible* Goodbye, Peter. I knew you would figure it out one day. I knew you would fly.
As Hook's glance turned away from the spot in the sky he was last able to see Peter, his focus lit upon a small object, barely visible in the night, at rest next to the barrell that stood next to Peter's cabin.
As he walked closer, the object came into focus and Hook's mood brightened.
Bending over and cupping his hand over it, he felt it move beneath him.
Scooping it up, he held it up in front of his face and allowed the moonlight to wash over it. It glistened in the silvery glow of night...and began to struggle. An evil and knowing grin washed over Hook's face.
Hook: Oh, Peter. It's not over yet.
Peter: Goodbye, Hook.
Hook: *astonished* WHAT? Where do you think you're going, dear boy? And more importantly, how do you think you'll get there?
Peter: How else would I leave this retched ship of yours, Hook? I will fly.
Hook: You can't fly anymore, Peter. *sneering, whispering in Peter's ear* You have no happy thoughts. You have no Wendy.
Peter: But I do have happy thoughts, Hook. Happy thoughts come from within...I've learned that. Or maybe I knew it all along and just couldn't see it while I was trapped here with you.
Hook: You can't leave me, Peter.
Peter: But I am leaving, Hook. It's dark here...it's cold. I'll never find a Wendy on your ship, Hook. But I know that somewhere out there...somewhere beyong the horizon...there's a Wendy for me. There's a world beyond this ship.
*Peter begins to float above the ship...the moon casting his shadow on the ship's deck*
Peter: Goodbye, Hook!
*Peter flies off into the dark, starry night...the air thick with salt and new beginnings*
Hook: *Almost inaudible* Goodbye, Peter. I knew you would figure it out one day. I knew you would fly.
As Hook's glance turned away from the spot in the sky he was last able to see Peter, his focus lit upon a small object, barely visible in the night, at rest next to the barrell that stood next to Peter's cabin.
As he walked closer, the object came into focus and Hook's mood brightened.
Bending over and cupping his hand over it, he felt it move beneath him.
Scooping it up, he held it up in front of his face and allowed the moonlight to wash over it. It glistened in the silvery glow of night...and began to struggle. An evil and knowing grin washed over Hook's face.
Hook: Oh, Peter. It's not over yet.
Random Randomness
The ipod's playing I'm Gonna Get Close to You by Queensyche (the only song I know that makes stalking sound sexy), I've got a Barefoot merlot ever so slight buzz going on, and I feel like writing.
I'm shocked you're reading this, dear reader. You're awesome! You rock! If it were me, I would have written off this lame-ass blog a long time ago. Updates have been few and far between, and I know it's frustrating to visit a blog, hit refresh, and not see anything new.
So first and foremost - thank you.
So what's going on? Well let's see...the Browns lost today to the Titans. Big surprise. I'm on the verge of buying my daughter a car that's close to twice what I originally wanted to spend, and I'm finding myself liking someone that I didn't think I'd ever like in that way...if you know what I mean.
I've always said my kids will be the death of me. Don't get me wrong...they're good kids. They have hearts. They care. They consider. My son and I had what can only be described as a minor fucking crisis a few months ago. I learned something...something I'm not sure how to handle. It plays on my mind every day. If it weren't for the fact he was a good kid, I honestly do not know where he and I would be today. He sat in at a gig I sang at and ended up getting a paying job offer. The kid's 14 and will make money playing percussion in a musical. That's impressive. But there is still *this thing* hanging over us. All I can do is keep the lines of communication open and try and guide him. It's tough.
The girl, on the other hand, has different issues. She's like I was at that age in many ways...talented beyond all belief but a bit of an outsider when it comes to mainstream things like college-life and goals, which ends up interfering with school work. She's trying...and all I can do is encourage.
Now here's the newest aspect of my life: A woman I will just call S., because for all I know, she'd die if I mentioned her name on here. S. and I have known each other for a little under three years courtesy of working in the same office. There have been times I think we were honestly ready to kill each other. I thought she was a bitch and she thought I was an arrogant asshole.
Through conversation I have learned we're actually more alike than we know...or want to admit. S. is stunning. When I say stunning, I don't use the word lightly. She really is. She's the type of woman that when she walks into a room, every head turns. Girls get jealous and guys want to know her.
There's a common thread that actually links our collective pasts. Of course it's not something as common as "we shop at the same grocery store but never ran into each other."
That would be too normal. And normal never seems to find its way into my life.
No...it's a little darker...a little sexier. It's a little more *sub culture.*
But it is what it is...and I sit here Sunday night fnding myself anxious to see what happens. I wake up and I find myself wondering what she's doing. I'm driving during the day and I wonder if she's having a good day. I see her at work and feel the different vibe we throw out to each other as I walk by her...even though I've walked by her 20 bazillion times in the past. There's a different look in her beautiful green eyes...a different message being sent out. I know she feels it, too. It's a look of knowing what others don't know. It's a look of expectation...a look of curiousity.
It's our secret.
And it's a look of unabashed fear. A few times we couldn't look each other in the eye as we passed each other. At least not at work. There would be a second's worth of eye contact, and then the nervouse glance away with a grin.
It's our secret.
But lucky for us, we're both the kind of people that throws caution to the wind and actually dares to live life. I'm up for new places and new feelings and new experiences. And I'd like to do them with her.
It's good.
The ipod's playing I'm Gonna Get Close to You by Queensyche (the only song I know that makes stalking sound sexy), I've got a Barefoot merlot ever so slight buzz going on, and I feel like writing.
I'm shocked you're reading this, dear reader. You're awesome! You rock! If it were me, I would have written off this lame-ass blog a long time ago. Updates have been few and far between, and I know it's frustrating to visit a blog, hit refresh, and not see anything new.
So first and foremost - thank you.
So what's going on? Well let's see...the Browns lost today to the Titans. Big surprise. I'm on the verge of buying my daughter a car that's close to twice what I originally wanted to spend, and I'm finding myself liking someone that I didn't think I'd ever like in that way...if you know what I mean.
I've always said my kids will be the death of me. Don't get me wrong...they're good kids. They have hearts. They care. They consider. My son and I had what can only be described as a minor fucking crisis a few months ago. I learned something...something I'm not sure how to handle. It plays on my mind every day. If it weren't for the fact he was a good kid, I honestly do not know where he and I would be today. He sat in at a gig I sang at and ended up getting a paying job offer. The kid's 14 and will make money playing percussion in a musical. That's impressive. But there is still *this thing* hanging over us. All I can do is keep the lines of communication open and try and guide him. It's tough.
The girl, on the other hand, has different issues. She's like I was at that age in many ways...talented beyond all belief but a bit of an outsider when it comes to mainstream things like college-life and goals, which ends up interfering with school work. She's trying...and all I can do is encourage.
Now here's the newest aspect of my life: A woman I will just call S., because for all I know, she'd die if I mentioned her name on here. S. and I have known each other for a little under three years courtesy of working in the same office. There have been times I think we were honestly ready to kill each other. I thought she was a bitch and she thought I was an arrogant asshole.
Through conversation I have learned we're actually more alike than we know...or want to admit. S. is stunning. When I say stunning, I don't use the word lightly. She really is. She's the type of woman that when she walks into a room, every head turns. Girls get jealous and guys want to know her.
There's a common thread that actually links our collective pasts. Of course it's not something as common as "we shop at the same grocery store but never ran into each other."
That would be too normal. And normal never seems to find its way into my life.
No...it's a little darker...a little sexier. It's a little more *sub culture.*
But it is what it is...and I sit here Sunday night fnding myself anxious to see what happens. I wake up and I find myself wondering what she's doing. I'm driving during the day and I wonder if she's having a good day. I see her at work and feel the different vibe we throw out to each other as I walk by her...even though I've walked by her 20 bazillion times in the past. There's a different look in her beautiful green eyes...a different message being sent out. I know she feels it, too. It's a look of knowing what others don't know. It's a look of expectation...a look of curiousity.
It's our secret.
And it's a look of unabashed fear. A few times we couldn't look each other in the eye as we passed each other. At least not at work. There would be a second's worth of eye contact, and then the nervouse glance away with a grin.
It's our secret.
But lucky for us, we're both the kind of people that throws caution to the wind and actually dares to live life. I'm up for new places and new feelings and new experiences. And I'd like to do them with her.
It's good.
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